My sobriety date is April of 2006.  I got clean on Good Friday and spent Easter weekend in a small holding cell going cold turkey off numerous drugs and alcohol.

All my senses were heightened as the withdraw pains increased and I listened to the guards just outside my dark holding cell  drink, party, and play adult games.  Not long after I heard them torturing a woman in what they later refereed to as the “Black Chair”.

Needless to say the black chair had restraints.  Granted the tiny female prisoner was drunk, delusional and played her own part in the torture I heard her endure that night.    The guards used the “black chair” title as a threat to keep inmates in line.  After several weeks of recuperation that inmate was moved from medical into the women’s pod.

After my second month of sickness with painful gull bladder attacks I was sent to ‘medical’ where another women suffered from seizures in the room next to me.  Apparently seizures are a criminal infarction in the Levy County Jail.  I ‘saw’ nothing that night but what I heard was both scary and alarming.  Let’s say I lived years on the streets, in crack traps, bars, with felons but what I witnessed in that jail to me was shocking.  I couldn’t have imagined that a female nurse could be so utterly brutal.  Funny…we never saw that patient/inmate again after the night of her seizures.  All I know is I heard her hit the floor and she went silent.  Just a few feet from me with a wall between us.  She went silent as that nursed screamed brutalized her .  She kept screaming, “your faking your seizures”!  Word was she was mysteriously released even though prior to her visit to medical there was no chance of her getting bail and her court date was a long way off.

That wasn’t the first abuse I witnessed in that jail.  But that’s not what this story is about.  Idk…maybe it should be, maybe that is where it’s taking me.

Perhaps I should mention the prettier younger girls

who got to leave jail to take trips to “McDonald’s” if they were chosen by the guards.  One of  the inmates was also my friend on the outside who just happened to be younger and prettier than me.  She said the guards would not only take them to McDonalds but also get them their drug of choice on occasion for their trip to Micky D’s.  I think we all know what the girls did for the guards, and they were happy to get a McDonald’s hamburger for their pleasure.

The pod we were in consisted of about 30 inmates 15 upstairs and 15 downstairs.   We were allowed to choose the location of our own bunks.  How it usually went down was ‘if’ NO ‘when’ someone pissed us off we would grab our gear and bunk as far away from them as possible.  I ended up grabbing my gear and heading down those stairs.  We all ended up right where we were supposed to be.

One thing sure, we were on display, literally.

We had an audience called the “Screws”.  Up high straight across from the inmates second story was the guards own second story room with a huge glass window facing down on our pod.   The glass was even set at an angle so they could see everything.  They could look right down on the ladies day or night…with good intentions of coarse.  They were keeping us safe you see.  And at the same time, well lets just say as it all turned out, the ladies upstairs had much different personalities than the ladies of the downstairs levels of the pod.

The ladies upstairs kept themselves up at all hours of the night.  They were active and the guards loved it.  Apparently they knew how to put on a show.  The guards had their own big screen real-time stripper show with girl on girl pornography and it was all live.  I guess they just couldn’t resist the temptation to watch the show and buy the burgers.

The downstairs ladies used to rise in the morning and say a morning prayer together in a circle right there in jail.  We were tired of the life as addicts and criminals.

We were generally kind to one another.  There were spiritual things happening to us.  We were having a common dream about water and baptisms, pools, and rivers.  We went to church on Wednesday nights and we had AA group on  Sundays.  In between we had the library and all its recovery literature.  We were women who wanted to change.  (even if some of us did take the occasional trip to McDonald’s).  I remember that jail-house preacher told us “God is here walking the halls & working miracles.”  I believed him, somehow I just knew I was going to get my miracle.  That preacher was one judgmental, assuming son-of-a-bitch but he had some good things to say too.  We ladies were soaking up as much positive energy as we could find.

But the girls upstairs…well they hated us ladies down stairs.  My girlfriend from the outside basically couldn’t make up her mind she kept switching back and forth from upstairs to down.  She would fill me in on what was going on up top .  I considered her credible I knew her.  We were hypocrites to them.  To them we were showing pitiful weakness and they despised it.  If I had not been released when I was, well there was a women who was picking a fight with me and it was reaching a head.  She screamed at me because she was going to prison and I wasn’t.  She swore she would see me in prison and then she would have my ass.  I feel pity for her at this moment.

You know you are in recovery when you take A.A. meetings into the very jail which incarcerated you for sixty days.  Yes, for two years I walked freely in and out of that same jail.  By the Grace of God, AA and therapy with Randall Mayrovitz at Meridian Healthcare Bridge-house outpatient therapy and inpatient both I learned how to live sober.

https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2012/apr/15/state-by-state-prisoner-rape-and-sexual-abuse-round-up/

Chadwick Buford Holmes, 32, a jail guard with the Levy County Sheriff’s Office, was arrested on June 30, 2011 on a third-degree felony charge of sexual misconduct. He is accused of repeatedly having sex with a female prisoner in a bathroom, and was booked into the same jail where he is alleged to have committed the sex acts.

I was coming off Xanax, Crack, Methadone, Cigarettes, and Caffeine

Not to mention I kept having gull bladder attacks omg.  It’s a wonder I survived it.  But for the grace of God.  I finally got my day in court after two months and the judge gave me a sentence to rehab.  I got to ride to Meridian in decked out cop car with sixty days detox time under my belt.  I was well on my way to full blown recovery.

Jail saved my ass.  AA taught me coping skills and how to get sober.  Therapy taught me what to do with my emotions and helped me work through core issues.  The 12 steps are the essence of my religion.  Without my higher power I would not have survived addiction.  All good things are from the Great Spirit of Light and Life.  Tapping into that strengthens my faith.

Inside me is a good and loving dog and a fearful and criminal dog which ever one I feed the most will become stronger.  Lately I have been tempted to shop-lift.  Time to feed the good dog.  But one thing for sure while I am alive, I will be human.  The human condition is by default corruptible.  The program works as long as I make the choice and take the action to work it.  But without the outside help I would be screwed.

Anonymous

How would you know– ‘Angry Jane’, what Jesus is up to?

Good question!  Let me share with you all that I see.

Keep in mind we do not know in what manner Jesus is returning.  Surely it will not be in the flesh.  Surely He is not going to do that again.  He will return in a spiritual way.  Such as filling up all His children to the brim with His Spirit and by transfiguration changing them, us.

“Not all shall sleep but we shall all be changed.”

“Flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God nor does corruption inherit incorruption”.

Bottom line, with the gift of intercession and interpretation both I know that we children of God have gone from burdens to pray for souls (years on end) to announcing Jesus’ soon return to the world (in the Spirit realms that announcement goes out into the Heavens landing in the natural Earth).

This means a change in spiritual venue for the end of the age.  For those who get words directly from The Holy Spirit this is big change like never before.

The annunciation period has manifested itself by diverse & many watchmen on the wall, and hundreds of thousands who are receiving dreams and vision.  Notification is being sent out by The Holy Spirit of Jesus’ soon return.

The period of annunciation started in 2018 after some time of unprecedented warfare occurred as prelude.  Father beefed up spiritual warfare.

I am what they call around Pentecostal circles  an intercessor.  (dubbed as insane of course cause I speak in higher languages.)   I am the real deal.  What does that mean?

What is an Intercessor?

It’s one of the spiritual gifts listed in 2nd Corinthians called “diversity of tongues”.  What that means in short is that God bestows upon a man languages.  Many languages by which I can now pray with at will.  No fasting or other work needed.  I pray at will, or by inspiration or by burden.

Of the prayer is by a burden then its intercession for souls which is also a form of warfare indirectly.  If the prayer is by inspiration then its offensive/defensive spiritual warfare against demons.  Not indwelt demons free flying demons trouble makers, and strongholds which are walls of demons.  If the prayer is by repetition just to be praying then the topic is likely myself.

I am pretty sure only men are called to be preachers who have the gift to cast demons out of people who are either posessed or in bondage to a demon.  I have never known a woman to have that gift nor do I.    Intercessors crush free flying demons and walls like you see below. (according to Jazweeh).

The Holy Spirit of God brings either inspiration or a spiritual burden that prompts me to pray in higher language.  I can either ignore it or fulfill it.  Its up to me to pray.  I asked God for the gift of interpretation so I do know the topics of what I pray about.

How Did I Receive The Gift of Diverse Tongues?

I ran seeking God from church to church diligently.  From alter call to alter call, requesting prayer at every turn.  I was so hungry for The Holy Spirit, seeking righteousness.  I came from Hell on Earth and Jesus delivered me out of my own bondage to dark forces.

I know Him, He is real. IN MOST CASES PEOPLE IN DEEP DARKNESS HAVE NEURALPATHWAYS OF IMPRINTED EMOTIONAL PATTERNS THAT THEY CANNOT CHANGE.  HABITS DON’T JUST DIE not even for those who want to change.  Unless in some rare cases….they get old and wise and finally get a clue.  Or they get supernatural spiritual deliverance by Devine Providence.

Does God Work Miracles Today?

Yes He does!  When I bring up deliverance & healing I hear my daughter saying “Mom you got healed of that 20 year whiplash injury because of your own faith. And you got delivered from spiritual bondage changing dramatically because…well, your own Faith.  Jesus isn’t real” she insists.   She has made sure to tell me this many times.

My daughter also told me why she cannot believe in Jesus.

“If I believe in Jesus” she states, “then also I will have to believe all the other stuff.  Such as sin and punishment/Hell.  And that is all too much for me to handle.  Too scary.”

God is Love

Hmmm, I pause.  Let me give you a short testimony of my own experience with Jesus.  It’s all good.  The only condemnation I have is my own voice when it flails up in anxt.  Jesus said this to the adulterous.

“Where are your accusers?  Neither do I accuse you, go and sin no more”.

I can attest to God’s mercy by experience.  Jesus helped me out of my own wreckage of the past when I was yet in my dark debaucherous sin.

I committed repeatedly everything from prostitution to the worst brand of murder (my own unborn children & one very sick puppy dog I euthanized) I did it.  “He who sinneth much Loveth much”.  My deep sin carved out a bleak impenetrable canyon in my own heart making room for Jesus when He emptied out my heart of the wreckage of my arduous, black, marred, soul.

Make no mistake Jesus wanted me to call on Him as I was, broken.  He said “I came for the sick & injured.  For, the well do not need The Great Physician”.

If your not broken, most likely you will not desperately seek God in Hope of being fixed. Hence The Great Tribulation will break people.  Not as punishment, to draw them to God in desperation.

My testimony of change from dark to light is, my friends why they call it “born again” born of Spirit.  The other 33.3% obtained after walking around with only soul 33.3% and body 33.3% = 66.6% without The Holy Spirit.  And I am assuming by various testimonies of Jesus that not all were as broken as I was.

For more on being born again and my story see https://paradiseforthehellbound.com/read-free

Sheep Are The Children of God by Analogy

Let’s call us “children” instead of animals.  After all, I resent when the beast calls us cattle.  “heard immunity, heard mentality, etc.”

Jesus Repeated the phrase “feed my sheep” to the apostles in the gospels when they questioned, “what is Thy will?”

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA & INDOCTRINATION OF A YOUTH

In kindergarten my mother would not let me dress up with the other children for Halloween.   Every class went from school room to school room showing off their costumes.  My teacher put me at the very last of the line, me walking through every room being different.  Different than every other child in the school who was dressed up.  Well, accepting my sister of course.  I don’t know what she went through.   I know that today she absolutely hates our Mother.

Once again Mom’s ignorance of raising children and lack of consideration to put some real thought into what she was actually doing to us mounted in us more trauma by abuse.  Mom is a product of the beast system.  And Dad thinking violence is love according to the beast, gives us our regular brutal spankings.  After all if we are to choose Love then we choose a man who repeatedly hurts us.  That’s Love right? (sarcasm)

Removing us from our homes and putting us in a situation where a cold mean stranger is wielding power over us and saying things like “YOU FAILED” is highly traumatic for a five years old….you get my drift.  Or you need to stay back a year cause your stupider than the rest of the class!

Mother taught us children nothing of the world because she knew nothing of the world.  Ignorant of danger she literally threw us to the wolves.

Somewhere in there was my spending the night with a relative of Mom’s.  Resulting in the sexual abuse by the sneaky older man 3rd cousin.   The one who locked mom in the trunk when she was child.  God almighty, sometimes it seems perhaps I was one of those targeted individuals.  The dangers in my life were relentless.  I will spare you that story of sexual abuse, for now.  I nearly drowned at least twice.  Dad saved my life over and over.  I bashed my head so many times needing stitches that they investigated my parents for child abuse in the 60s.  And that takes alot public record of injury.

Chemical Attacks from my own Mom & Third Degree Burns or Second– who knows, As Dad stands Watching

I walked into a fire and sat down in it burning my whole underside at age 4.  The trauma attached to that little event left me out of my body literally. I clearly remember being on a metal table as they peeled off my skin.  The doctor with one of those horrible round lights on his head.  I had enough, I literally went into a closet out of body.  I walked away.  My own mother couldn’t stand the screaming she left the room.

To this day I don’t know why my Dad standing right on the other side of the fire would allow me to walk through gray hot ash with red embers burning underneath.  I suppose had he really wanted me dead he would not have twice saved me from drowning in the back yard pool.  I remember once when they cleaned the pool mom allowing us to swim in bleach water.  She was big on chemicals nearly burning my lungs with ammonia water.  Over and over I told her the stuff is poison when I became an adult.  Now she’s on oxygen from leaving bleach and ammonia in her sink every time she cleans and never ever opening the windows.   My parents are as blind to evil & darkness as they are to their own hearts.

Anger Toward God-Why the Suffering?

Part of being chosen of God…and keep in mind friend, flesh and blood are temporal very temporal.  The soul and spirit are eternal.   Seeing the big picture is part of being chosen.  How?  The afterlife MUST, MUST, be very real to us.  Otherwise we cannot gain the needed wisdom from God’s lessons.  Hence every chosen few has died at least once.  They have visited the afterlife, they have had out of body dreams.  They have felt eternity by receiving The Holy Spirit.  Not all are the hand or the eye.  Count yourself blessed if ye are of the great multitude because The meek WILL INHERIT THE EARTH.  And this is what the elite fight against.

The Elite Want The 144,000 Dead.

If they can’t identify the 144 they will slaughter all God’s children in anxt.

The prophecies say they will lose their power and they will.  They value power over all things.  They will not go down without a fight.  They want us all dead.  They cannot identify the elect.  So many saying “I am 144, I am 144” this is for a reason.  The waters are muddied for a reason. God shall not allow His elect to suffer by the hand of evil ever again. That is His promise to the 144,000 His army and those who go before the thrones.

Spiritual lessons that come from pain and suffering can be eternal if the reaction is in fact good and spiritual.  Being mad at God is part of the chosen’s walk. We know God is real and we are pissed at Him!  This is part of our relationships with Him being formed.  We later turn to Him showing Him our anger.  We are transparent with Him and we know without His help we’re squittled.  “Turn me and I shall be turned”.  Then to later see the benefits of suffering and the many lessons is priceless wisdom.

Again—Those clothed in white who have come out of Great tribulation who go before the throne night and day, these are God’s chosen few who He makes guardians over The New Earth.   Not “the great tribulation”.  Revelation

I WAS A FAILURE AT THIRD GRADE

Isn’t it funny, well not funny, rather ironic that my parents much later in life told me I tested out one of the top three IQ’s in my entire school’s history.  Three years later they were telling me I was a failure at that same school.  I passed with C’s because I wanted to make C’s.  The teacher was pissed and hated me because I was not obedient, I didn’t study, I didn’t have to try.  I could easily make C’s by simple common sense.  I would not make the A’s she wanted.  I would not act like my sister whom she loved & taught earlier years.  Mrs. Harper (and she was a harper) made this quite clear to me.   “Why aren’t you more like your sister?  She was a joy to teach, but YOU, YOUR A failure!!”

It was as if the beat down was what I was destined for.  I believed Mrs. Harper.  In my heart between the beatings from Dad and the criticism I knew I was “bad & wrong, a failure”.  I would not find out until years, many years later who I really am.  I embraced Sarah the failure. 

So, at 8 years old my parents responded to Mrs. Harpers advice to keep me back a year.  They said, “we are moving from Akron to Kent Ohio anyway so we will make Sarah repeat 3rd grade even though she passed by her grades.”  Why?  Because the bitch teacher didn’t like me and my parents were followers of the beast.  I have forgiven Mrs. Harper who by the way lost her son in Vietnam and played the “Fighting Soldiers from the sky” the Green Barret theme song every morning before class on the record player.

Some Relief from the Abuse & Public Speaking at Age 9

My second bout with third grade was much different.  Mrs. Tesar in Kent Ohio was a loving woman who encouraged and kept safe her students.  And furthermore my fourth grade teacher was much the same.  Thank God we moved away from Rhimer Elementary Hell.  Mr. Fairchild took us ice skating in his backyard river.  It was dark and cold, but oh how fun.  Once he have a public speaking assignment and I froze in front of the class.  He made it a lesson to the class saying in a kind and understanding way what can happen due to nervous fear.  I had no shortage of fear.   After all I was a failure every child in that room was better than me.  (I thought)  I was literally petrified.

I should note that I later skipped ninth grade making up the demotion of third grade.  My grades were easily good enough to do so at that time.  And tenth grade was easy for me.   in ‘Operation Upgrade’ in Hillsborough County Florida those who were old enough with the grades could skip a grade.  My friend Joanne wanted me to stay where I was not getting out of an entire year of school. She knew I would move on from her and by God I am very glad I did.

God’s Gifts Are Without Repentance.  Steeped in Sin

I was lost for years, searching for something I did not know.  When I tried drugs at age 12 my young life was so steeped in emotional pain and I was so filled up with hurt, and fear that drugs were my relief. 

Sidenote: If I was to express fear or hurt to anybody in my family I would have been either mocked by my older sister, who by the way used to beat my little brother whom I protected. I finally was able to stand her off physically at about age 7, she never attacked us again. But all my fears had to be held in. My mother and father always invalidated anything, any feeling, any fear, and emotion that I had all through life pretty much. I was trained to repress and the fear nearly ate me alive.

You see, with addiction, people who are not steeped in pain don’t get addicted.  Sure addicts like me usually say “I had no trauma in my childhood I had good parents”. I used to say it myself and mean it.  Why would I say that?  Because the TV programming showed me what trauma is and I did not relate to it.  Little did I know there is a different kind of child trauma that comes in stealth and in ignorance.  It comes from these sources, parents, education, our peers because we are trained to demoralize one another as an emotional survival skill, and the TV media.

But make no mistake, most people even into adulthood have no clue what emotional trauma really looks like.  How would they?  They didn’t teach us healthy emotions at school that’s for sure.  How do you speak to yourself?

Long story short, I was steeped in sin and misery most of my life.  I was a heroin addict, Cocaine Injector, Pot smoking, Prostitute, thief, Liar, Hopeful drug addict who not only prayed for help, I prayed in tongues for help during my relapse/prodigal walk.  For years on end.  Whaaat???

My History With Religion

I was born in 1959 making me 62 years old.  I was not raised in the church as they say.   However my mother was a Jehovah Witness and she used to speak often of the “New World”  It sounded to me like a myth at the time.  I didn’t put any stock in it.  I believed what was in front of me at the time.  Still I was a praying child from the very start of my life, and always have been.  Mom took us to church on holydays I mean holidays.

Church was no different than school to me.  Expect that there were no hard tests and bad grades given.  Today there is not one preacher who I can sit and listen to and agree with wholeheartedly.  Not on Youtube or mainstream or real life.  I can’t even agree 50% or 20%.   Sometimes they will say something true.

My foundation of religion is me reading the Bible on my own back from late 80s through late 90s.  I had all the books when they were “books”.  I had the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance.  I had Lexicons, interlinear bible’s, every version in English and I read mainly the KJV and I read the Old Testament in the NIV & KJV.

Persecution from the Pulpit

I had one church and one pasture in life who I called my own at age thirty something.  When my loving preacher changed and started preaching Hell fire and condemnation rather than teaching with Love, the church split.  One pasture one way, and mine another way.  I learned so much from Him.  I don’t know what happened to him but I see no benefit to giving people the beat down over and over and over.

I am not saying don’t prepare for eternity and be aware that ye shall be judged for our treatment of others.  But condemnation from the pulpit repeatedly teaches mankind nothing but guilt and shame.  Of which I was already filled to the brim.  When I left that church, me and my tithes, that preacher for the first time spoke to me directly after years of being in his churches fairly unnoticed.

“They will kill you out there Sarah”, was his words to me. Well he was nearly right.  He was afraid.  He wanted me back I believe because of the tithes.  He never gave a shit about any of us it seems to me.  Or maybe he did, but he sure as hell could have at least acknowledge the women’s ministry me and another member had at that time to strippers and prostitutes’.

My Ministry to Strippers & Prostitutes

There were three of us woman born again in the church.  Women who really knew what it is to be changed by God Himself.  Born again.  Looking back I think perhaps my old preacher feared us, he did not understand or relate to us.

Seems to me there are variation of being born again.   And after we were born again God sent us out.    We witnessed to the dancers and hookers who needed to hear of God’s Love.  Those whom the preacher was unable to reach.  Once my girlfriend Lori asked the pastor to recognize our ministry as part of the church ministry.  He abruptly refused.  It wasn’t pretty enough.  It wasn’t dressed right.  It wasn’t packaged the way he would have it-apparently. Yes were were raw. But it was amazing times. We would walk into the dressing rooms at the strip clubs and there would sit one young woman or another primed for ministering, falling apart at the seems. This happened continually in that ministry. God moved more for those women than I have ever seen in ministry.

Threatened by My Friend in Ministry at Knife Point

I was even in choir.  Lori’s the other ex drug addict who I brought into the strip clubs with me to minister.  Oh she was so sweet.  She made up little baskets of jelly beans and chocolates on Easter for the dancers.  The strippers loved her!  She would minister to them individually and speak of how God saved & delivered her from hell life.  My stripper ministry was very very productive.   It was my first ministry.  When I relapsed into drug addiction it took years before I finally got pulled back out by God.

I received the Holy Spirit when I was thirty in a little Baptist church by the laying on of hands & prayer.  In my experience that’s how it happens.  So the automatic part of the infilling that happens when you ask Jesus in for help by desperation was my born again moment.  I was born again when I was 27.

At 27 my morality changed and I never returned into the deep sexual immorality that I came out of at that time. Even during my prodigal walk my morals remained upgraded.

Nevertheless my prodigal walk taught me not to judge others.  I forget that lesson from time to time.  Perhaps I am more stubborn than some.

I walked as prodigal for probably ten years with The Holy Spirit. God’s gifts are with repentance. If He didn’t take the Spirit back from me He won’t take it back. I think you would have to ask God to leave or something horrible like that.  I got arrested spent 60 days in county and finally ran, not walked to Alcoholics Anonymous where I finally-thank God! I became reprogrammed by God using therapy and the 12 steps.  It took seven years to change my thought patterns and neural pathways of my mind.  Meditation was a big part of that change by positive affirmations and daily 12 step meetings.  I learned how to express myself. How to quit keeping shame secrets of fear.  Say what I mean and mean what I say.

I built confidence by telling my testimony to hundreds at a time at speaker meetings.  I worked through those old childhood fears of public speaking & inferiority.  I realized I am a valuable and somewhat vulnerable child of God.  I do not speak to my self the way I used to-ever.

My worst sin was the way I treated myself for so long.  Some say people cannot change.  But given the right circumstances we can reprogram while God changes our heart.  To be the clay in His hands is worth every pain and cry.  But it takes work.  Change isn’t easy, we fear it sometimes.  It takes God and footwork both.  The work a man does to change who he is should become a way of life.  When any problem arises we say—“Out of the problem into the solution”.

The Truth Gospel

The true gospel is sharing what Jesus did for you.  Because that is the gospel that comes from the heart and is Truth and alive.

How in the hell does somebody attain a strippers ministry you might ask.  Well long story short–God provides it.  I was a stripper.  I was a prostitute drug addict.  God delivered me.  See my 5 part testimony.  I spent years living up to the title of “failure” who I believed I was for years.  I was a stripper for years.  After I was born again God put me behind a sewing machine making outfits for strippers.  This is still my work today except now I do it online.  No more setting up outfits in the dressing rooms.  The managers all knew me.  I had a foot in at strip clubs from Austin to San Antonio.  They knew I was now born again and they knew why I quit dancing.  I was a witness.  So I was allowed to bring Lori into the clubs with me.

Lori’s husband stood next to me in choir because I was an alto.  Staying on the right pitch with three harmonies Tenor, alto, soprano isn’t easy when your not a natural at it.  We had to be grouped together.  I was able to follow her husband’s voice.  Once his family at church invited me to dinner after.  My friend Lori was out sick that day.  Next thing I knew the crazy bitch was threatening me at knife point, knife point!  About stealing her husband because I met him and his family at an after church lunch.  There went that portion of that ministry.

Can you imagine?  A girl well over age 27 knocks on my door and puts a knife to my throat because I know and went to lunch with her in-laws.  She was sure I wanted to steal her husband.   No wonder the preacher didn’t want her representing the church in ministry.  She was bat shit crazy.  Her husband said “she has returned to her old behavior”.  What was she a murderer?  Well seems I have somebody else to forgive in word so my heart will follow.

Does this incident mean Lori wasn’t born again?  NO!  Make no mistake she became the clay in God’s hands just as I did.  It takes years to reprogram after being born again.  God changes our heart and our mind.  But old habits die hard, that’s why the 12 step recovery programs are so beneficial for born again believers.  They can become part of the reprogramming of behaviors.  Especially for drug addicts who need years to relearn and build new neuropathways in the brain.  There is a thing called the prodigal son walk.  If your a born again believer who has back slid horribly do not underestimate the lessons of Grace and Love, mercy, and forbearance of God that comes with a prodigal son walk.

The scariest scripture in the Bible I fulfilled

Paraphrased.   If a man is delivered of demons and is born again of The Spirit of God and yet returns as a dog to his vomit to his old ways then those demons look and say “his house is clean and swept & the door is open for the taking” that demon brings 6 other demons back with him to the house it once was vanquished from.  Put on the full armor of God.

I do not think the re-infestation of demons happened to me but I am a candidate because of my prodigal walk.  Testimony 5 parts Youtube.

Nevertheless God brought me back out after years of my turning my back on Him and His gracious gifts to me.

My Ministry to The Very Wicked The Prodigal Walk Ministry

One day perhaps I will go over the worst of the worst that I can remember.  A time filled with crooked cops, bribes, immorality, danger, insanity, great suffering, regret, remorse, self induced trauma, sick relationships, abusive boyfriends, The jumping from moving vehicles to get away from assailants. rape, more near death experience, kidnapping.   The giving of a testimony to the most evil on earth that nearly results in decapitation.  Men of evil don’t listen to preachers and nuns whom they have no part with.  But when a fellow sinner they know tells them God is real & loves them and what he did for them, it hits them right between the eyes. And they do not always react well toward that witness.

Perhaps God wanted me to know what having a sword to my neck for the testimony of Him would feel like.  Idk.  But this dangerous & insane man who announced to the who camp I was staying at that he would take my head that night changed his mind and heart.  He had every intention of doing so and I was going to allow it without even running.  Had I run he may have enjoyed it.  Something stopped his hand. It wasn’t me.  I wasn’t to die that day, not again. Not yet.  Some day I might write the horrors of the prodigal walk but for now it’s not to be.

God Gave Me a Third Ministry in Alcoholics Anonymous

As I said I spent years in AA reprogramming and gaining self worth.  I learned how to build self esteem and I learned my character defect patterns with the purpose of not repeating them.  Not everyone in AA takes rehabilitation so seriously as I did.  Nor do they take God as seriously as I do.   My own sister, a dysfunctional drug addict had all the same opportunities I did.  Yet she just could never change.  She couldn’t open up her heart, her true heart to God.  She never really opened the door to let God in.  I could be wrong.

I was rebuilt in AA and I left AA because from it I got what I needed.  I am not under AA rule to need the program for the rest of my days as so many in AA claim.  Some even call AA or ‘The Program’ their own Higher Power.  Big mistake.  The 12 step programs are full of lies at every turn.  They are also full of truth at many turns.   The program is free.  I owe AA nothing.

They chant “You have to give it away to keep it” this is true to a point, but for how long?  How long do I have to give it away?  I get to mark that timeline with my own choice.  If you don’t do the 12 step work you will not gain the self worth needed to be reprogrammed.  But if you think that its AA whom you are beholden to instead of God Himself then ye worship the creation over The Creator.  God is my sustenance not man.

A Scribe of God My Third Ministry

Jazweeh and I are the authors of my scribe ministry.  I did not plan to write a testimony but that’ s where this article ended up.  This is my end of days ministry.  Every footstep in my life has been for this moment in time.  I am not to judge others.  There is a whole multitude of Christians right now who have no clue of what is going on.  I can’t make anyone see Truth.  The creature/locust is on the heads and minds of most.  The supernatural is full bore on Earth.  Yet the strongholds of Satan are collapsing day by day.  God’s army is raised up and they are powerful.  Those who were once oppressed and down trodden are now the most skilled spiritual warriors on Earth.

They have come out of great tribulation.  Those who are born again do not usually stand up and tell the worst parts of their demonic walk through hell.  I left out the worst parts of the self inflicted part of my dangerous life.

Deliverance from demons is part of the walk with God.  Those who know what it’s like to be subservient to a demonic force of actions within that goes against their own heart know suffering.

“Why do I do that which I do not want to do?  Each time I make up my mind to do good evil is right there with me.  I then act according to evil in me that is not of me.   Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Praise be to Jesus The Christ who is all merciful forever and ever.”   Apostle Paul —Paraphrased from Pre Mandela effect skewed bible changes.

The Justified shall live by Faith

The chosen of God have already died once quite literally.   Or more.  They have stood under the knife, and under the sword at the neck.  God’s elect suffered so they could learn and be formed.  God’s elect would not trade that suffering for anything because it brought them to the knowledge of God’s great Love for us.

He who The Son sets free is free indeed. 

For easier reading and directions on becoming the clay in God’s hands go to my website https://paradiseforthehellbound.com where both my testimony and my book can be seen and read free.

Paraphrased Scriptures.  Pray ye escape the end of days tribulation.

“Behold, I show you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump. The trumpet will sound, and the dead in Christ shall be raised imperishable and corrupt shall be clothed with incorruption. The temporal shall become eternal.”

Luke 21:36
“Watch ye therefore, and pray that ye may be found worthy to escape the destruction that shall come upon the Earth, and to stand before the Son of GOD.”

1Th 4:16
For the Lord himself shall descend with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
1Th 4:17
Then we which who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with Jesus in the clouds Heavens to meet the Lord. And so shall we forever be with God Almighty.

1Co 15:50
Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither does corruption inherit incorruption.

1Co 15:51
Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,

1Co 15:52
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

1Co 15:53
For the corruptible shall put on incorruption, and mortality shall put on immortality.

1Co 15:54
So when the corruptible puts on incorruption, and the mortal shall put on immortality, then shall be the completion of the saying- Death is swallowed up in victory.

Death, where is thy victory? Grave, where is thy power of bondage & fear?
For the law was written to show sin in its true light.
Jesus fulfilled the law setting the captives free. He delivered those of us who all our lives, under through fear of death suffered bondage.
He who The Son of God sets free is Free Indeed. Love covers a multitude of sin. Jesus shall not lose not one soul whom The Father gave Him.

For the anchor of death is sin by law. But by Faith ye are saved. And by Grace we are forgiven.   Death cannot hold us. Jesus took the keys to death and hell and those keys are yours by Faith in Him.

1Co 15:57

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

What does all this mean?

It means your not in school looking to get a grade A or F.  It means everything you have been programmed with was so you won’t get “Faith & Hope”.

That’s right.  You were traumatized by the Santa Clause story so evil dark entities would harden your heart to the Truth of Jesus and His great works.

Jesus overcame death and Hell so we do may have eternal life.  Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you.

Evil wants your soul.  Jesus asks, when I come shall I find Faith on Earth among men?  Pray for Faith & to trust God.   Pray to find God.

The Truth shall set you free.  What Truth?  Truth in your own heart spoken to Jesus.  The Truth of shall set you free.

The Armor of God.

The helmet of the Hope of salvation.

The belt of Truth.

The breastplate of Righteousness in Jesus.

The shield of Faith in God

The Sword of The Spirit of God’s True words from your own heart.  Your testimony and Truth toward God and others.

Love Love your neighbor by showing respect.  The greatest spiritual gift is Love, & Faith, Hope.

Good news of the gospel of peace.  What Jesus did for me and His promises to us.

The prayers of the saints.  Praying always in the Spirit.  Ask for God’s will in your life.

DO NOT every use common oils like Wesson, Mazola, Crisco, Wal-mart brand and any of the rest of common oils.  WHY?  Hexane, & Chloride.  They denature the oil by extracting it through harsh detergent chemicals and if it smokes when cooking it turns to pure poison even worse than in its original form.

Alternatives- Buy “cold pressed” or “Expeller Pressed” oils these are safe non toxic methods of extracting oil from foods.

DO NOT sleep near or sit/stand near high energy fields.  This means that there is excess emf being emitted by refrigerator compressors, air conditioner units, wifi routers, cell phones, circuit breaker boxes, smart meters even TV’s.  MAKE your home environment as low in Electromagnetic, electrical fields, or magnetic fields.  Solution be sure to lay on the earth as often as possible.  Never sleep with a box fan or wall air conditioner next to your bed/head. Stay as far away from these compressors as possible.

Why?  They make your brain molecules vibrate, roll, and dance to become disoriented.  To not know where you are while driving or to lose sense of direction in the hallway. They cause mind/brain fog and Alzheimer I am certain of it by my own experience with sleeping next to a window & fan.

Diet.  Eat as much live food meaning raw fruits and vegetables as possible, preferably organic.  Make smoothies, Cook sautéed veggies so they DO NOT lose their color.  Lose the color lose the nutrients.

DO NOT SLEEP NEAR CELL PHONES.  Do not hold cell phone to head.  Do not use cell phone for long conversations.  Do not send emoticons as they increase emf to recipient.  (I have a meter I tested this myself).

ALL MICROWAVE OVENS LEAK….I bought a $28 microwave oven leakage meter and yes my new oven not only leaked but put out dangerous readings surpassing safe limits of short waves basically if you stand next to your microwave oven your slowly cooking yourself.  Same with cell phone your smart phone will set off the microwave leakage meter past safe limits…mine did.

Hard wire all your devices in the home.  Log into your router system control page login directions go by brand of router and turn off all wifi.  Use ethernet wires straight from the router to your devices.  If you want wifi in your phone buy a phone that has an ethernet port to hook direct to your router.  This is also the fastest internet you can get to your phone…wired.  Why?  Wifi in the home runs on 2.5GHZ that’s 2.5 BILLION HERTZ running through your brain.  5.0GHZ is also conveniently running in most wifi routers even though you have no devices to equip it.  I believe 5.0GHZ effects the oxygen molecule even though now the internet is drenched in articles that say oxygen molecule is on the 60ghz wavelength.  This all changed overnight.  Why would they call 60ghz 5G?  That makes no sense.  5.0ghz is already running in homes and is 5G.  It crossed the blood brain barrier downloading your brain with whatever it wants and causing cellular confusion.

Why do you think they call them CELL PHONES?

Feel free of course to verify anything I write.  I have studied all of these topics for YEARS on end starting with food research and the diabolical poisons they use.

DO NOT USE COMMON SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER.   WHY?  To start lauryl sulfate and her wicked sister laureth sulfate poisons.  Keep your head safe. Use natural shampoos organic..   Use block cocoa butter for conditioner it works great.  I have long thick hair. Just rub cocoa on hands in shower till oily then rub hands on hair.  Rub the oil on you hair that is 5-8 inches away from the scalp so you don’t get oily scalp.  I am saying use this kind of oil on long hair not hair close to the head to keep scalp oil free.

Depending on manufacturing processes, sodium laureth sulfate may be contaminated with measurable amounts of ethylene oxide and 1,4-dioxane. i The International Agency for Research on Cancer ethylene oxide as a known human carcinogen and 1,4-dioxane as a possible human carcinogen. Ethylene oxide can also harm the nervous system iiand the California Environmental Protection Agency has classified it as a possible developmental toxicant based on evidence that it may interfere with human development. iii 1,4-dioxane is also persistent. In other words, it doesn’t easily degrade and can remain in the environment long after it is rinsed down the shower drain. 1,4-dioxane can be removed from cosmetics during the manufacturing process by vacuum stripping, but there is no easy way for consumers to know whether products containing sodium laureth sulfate have undergone this process. iv

skin creams & oils.  DON’T put anything on your skin that you would not eat.  I am serious.  Use aloe plant, or real cold pressed oils, essential oils, shampoo ginger, lemon, to make your own skin creams or oils from nature.  Its work to be natural because there are not any skin products out there that I recommend.  Not one. And anything you put on your skin goes to your bloodstream.  The skin is the largest organ.

NEVER NEVER NEVER use any aerosols.  NEVER use deodorants.  If you eat real food, plants, fruits, vegetables you will not stink usually.  And if you do take a shower is all.  Or take a sink bath.  Carry your natural soap and wash clothe to work if need be.   Raw vegetable smoothies with seeds like flax or hemp and beets will clean you out.  Make your regular diet real food.

NEVER EAT any non organic candies or sweets of any kind unless you want to risk diabetes from high fructose corn syrup.  NEVER EAT ANY PROCESSED FOODS THAT ARE NOT ORGANIC.

eat lots of nuts.  AVOID peanuts and corn because gmo’s have taken over those foods.

NEVER EAT ANYTHING THAT COULD BE A GMO.  Your brain will not recognize it as food its a problem.

ALWAYS OPEN windows to let fresh air in your home no matter what they say like “your air conditioning the outside”.  Your lungs take priority of small change $.  Make sure you air out the house every few days.

I will add to this list when I think of more dangerous items to avoid.  Be sure to ground yourself to the earth daily by laying on the grass for 10 minutes at least or going to a park or lay in the dirt.  Notice how it changes the way you feel when you connect to the 7 or 8 HERTZ of earth’s magnetic field instead of the 2.4 BILLION HERTZ of wifi.  Look up magnetobiology for effect of EMF on humans.  They won’t teach you this in school because emf is the weapon of the beast for culling the heard.  The invisable cell disrupter to cook you inside out.

Yes this is terrifying so seek God it’s time.  He is coming soon says The Holy Spirit.

Get to know herbs and drink herb teas.

Written by Laura Edgar Author of Paradise for the Hellbound

The flesh is at emnity with God.

Time tells all, so says humanity. Time does tell alot however time is a given only to those of the flesh who grow old and die. Time and humanity are one.
The Spirit and eternity are one.  Meaning, eternity and spirituality standing alone are also one.
To be spirit is to be eternal.
To be flesh is to be temporal.
“One day ye shall know as well as ye are known.

Then remain these three. Faith, Hope, & Love but the greatest is Love.”

If salvation were due to Grace alone then Grace would be eternal as well.

However Grace is but a catalyst of forgiveness. And forgiveness at soul level is part of a relationship with God that comes only by Faith and Hope in Him by Jesus The Way to God, The Way Home.

If a man seeks and continues to seek God with his whole heart he will eventually be lead to Jesus by God The Father who says “Meet my Son He is your salvation”. Jesus is The Truth & The Life & The way home.
Love is not what they say it is.
Love is an action not a feeling.
Love is not an emotion but rather it is a powerful source of life.

Salvation is reliant upon Love because Love is eternal and God is Love. Truth is the armor that keeps us from being seduced & deceived.

Truth is not only telling the Truth.  Those are words. Truth has a spiritual foundation that is unseen by the flesh.  Truth is a mighty unseen force that protects Love.

Truth is what rips the vail and shows us both who we are and what is to come.

Truth takes the vail of deception from over our heart and from our mind’s eye.

“Truth” is not listed as eternal with Love, Hope, and Faith except by calling Jesus “The Truth”.   In eternity only Truth can be shown from Spirit.  The deception of the flesh is gone and all that is seen is real and true.

This makes our world of materialism a lie.  Its not an illusion as the new agers call it but rather a straight up deception.  Flesh and Earth’s reality are blinding unless Faith opens the door of Truth to us.

In the spiritual realm of eternity lies are obvious and cannot be maintained.
Oh yes there is evil in eternity but it is shown as evil that is why it runs to the darkness in the depths of hell.  Evil is made uncomfortable in the light of God. Evil is transparent in eternity therefore must hide in the darkness.

Domas Karchah Choenendey Sevartoe.    Meaning- In eternity all is severely revealed and truth is all in all.

This is part of why it is impossible for God to lie because He is Spirit and He is Love. Pure unquenchable Love has no lie in it.

Know this, all that is of Earth is so you will choose. All that has happened through your life is so you can choose your path in eternity.

We all hold darkness inside of us because we are flesh.

Father knows this.  The darkness must be exposed and shown to Him who quells and abolishes it.  Of course we have all done evil.  Be courageous and stand naked before Him who forgives and knows all things.  Salvation is a choice and a simple one.  Simple but not easy.  Fear is what keeps a man aloof from God.  Fear at core level that oftentimes the man himself doesn’t recognize in himself.

It takes prayer to become the clay in God’s Loving hands.  But He will mold us into what we would love to be in our heart, that is.  To follow our heart is to be in union with The Holy Spirit.  But become clay we must -if we are to join the kingdom of righteousness.

The heart speaks and will the mind shut it down? The heart speaks Truth will the intellect shame the heart and silence it?

Either follow your heart into the best path toward eternity or silence your heart and choose unbelief. Death comes to most men fear not the second death.  The first death is to die to the flesh and be born of The Spirit.  The second death is of the flesh…death of the body.

By unbelief or fear the heart rejects The Way to Love. To reject Love is to choose evil.
To reject Truth is to be blinded.

Amos 8:11
Behold, the days come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD:

8:12 – And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not find it.
Jesus Himself fixes our emotional condition IF we become the clay in His hands. He will allow us to emotionally handle BIG supernatural TRUTHS. Truths that go against YEARS OF INDOCTRINATION. Truths that change EVERYTHING in our perceptions.

Can no, will you awaken to a Truth that makes you afraid? If you rest in Jesus our foundational Rock of the ages THEN you can handle new ideas that go against the paradigms of beast system programming.

You believe the book? Then believe this.
Amos 8:11
Behold, the days come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the wordS of the LORD:

8:12 – And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not find it.
“In the beginning was The Word. And The Word was with God. And The Word was God.” John 1

Therefore is it right to call a book made with men’s hands “The Word of God”?

Of course not! Its idolatry, error, deception, especially since now the book is changing to blasphemy, fables, and nonsense by supernatural means.

ALL KJVB are changing on the shelves, supernaturally. See https://abominationdesolation.com