By Angry Jane
CRY ALL YOU NEED TO OVER SPILLED MILK
And I mean NEED TO. You guys probably know if your regular readers I am relentless in saying “there is no wrong feeling, if you call a feeling wrong you call your very heart & soul wrong & bad.” All feelings come from a place of truth and are appropriate. Even if the fear is a phobia, it happened for a reason.
Crying is a Healthy Emotion and Necessary
Where did the saying come from in the 70s “don’t cry over spilled milk”? Three guesses…TV Movies. Catchy phrase and the best way to shut down those nagging crying children. Best way also to invalidate their own feelings, their own heart. In hind sight I now know that invalidation of everything ‘me’ I was taught that I was just plain wrong. My heart, my thoughts my ideas my everything. But not just by invalidating ignorant parents who said over and over “THAT’S NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT JANE (angry Jane)!” No no, the TV showed me what was good and right in people and clearly I was not it!
Consequently I repressed more pain than I can express to you now. Hurt and pain stays in the body if it’s not expressed somehow. That is why God gave us tears. My therapist informed me that screamers have heart attacks and repressers get Cancer. Did I tell you about my bought of Fibrohystiocytoma a malignant Sarcoma I had cut out of my thigh in 2002? Another day perhaps (see Cancer story).
There is a healthy way to express our intense feelings.
Writing, sharing, screaming in the car, moaning, groans. Feeling so built up and so intense that words alone cannot harness their expression.
How many times have you heard someone apologize for crying? It’s a travesty! It’s the hook in the control of the mind and body by the elite.
If YOU NEED TO CRY ITS FOR A DARN GOOD REASON. THE HEART DOESN’T LIE!
The same principle works for fear. Fears are valid 99% of the time. Fear is for survival of the human race. We don’t want our fear to run rampant so we take it to God. Take your fears to God and be not ashamed of the human condition. For God gave us emotions for a reason and fear is one of them.
Evil responses to fear are another matter entirely.
I use a God box.
A decorated it and so its consecrated to hold my fears that I write on paper. I tell God my fears and put them in the box. He brings them back to me transformed into spiritual blessings.
Remember No Fear No courage-Know Fear & Know Courage.
Repressing fear and hurt is why the human race is a sick mess. All they have is deflection because we were never taught to express our deepest pain and fear. On the contrary most of us were taught to hide fear because if you show fear your a chicken or worse.
Granted we cannot share our pearls in the presence of swine who will use our fear and pain against us. So having at least one person whom we can tell ANYTHING to is vital to our emotional health. Someone who won’t point the finger and who will possibly ever relate to our sin. Priests confessional are an option.
The worst thing to happen when we finally exert the courage to open up and share our worst vile sins is to be invalidated yet again or even spanked & looked at sideways or met with sarcasm for sharing our Truth. Choose confidants wisely.
WE ARE AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS.
Part II
They called my healthy God given tears self pity so I stopped crying.
They taught me that fear was shameful by words like chicken shit and pansy.
So I hid my fear away and it grew inside me till it made me sick.
They told me that crying was a bad thing
So I stifled my tears and healthy emotional processes till tears turned to poison unfallen, unspent
I turned my hurt to anger & they told me that anger was bad so I knew I was bad
I repressed and hid my anger in shame till it grew to rage inside me, I then wielded it against myself by self destruction.
They taught me that my dreams were stupid and that to excel I must compete
So instead of seeing the gifts in myself and my brothers we learned t demoralize one another by habit and sarcasm. We, most of us, diminished each other’s authenticity, dreams and gifts and put them down, so we could see ourselves as good.
By the beasts directions we made ‘different & individuality’ stupid and wrong. Hence few had the courage to create anything new and different.
We fought one another instead of encouraging. We lied and hid from one another because we were manipulated by T.V. and Movies, generational indoctrination’s, and laws.
So we compared our insides to their outsides as our compass & thermometer.
All the while saying “I don’t care what others think of me!” But we did care, & we do care, its our nature to care for our reputation. It’s the fear of what others think of us that must be abandoned.
We understood that surely there must be something wrong with us. We resorted to criticism and blame…
Blame was our bed fellows.
When I went back through my childhood and processed the pain and expressed the wounds of long ago-some called it “morbid reflection” condemning the process of emotional healing.
The church mocked therapy as fornication against God.
Thank God for wise therapists and AA that both kills and heals depending on your journey or sponsor. By the emotional work I did, I learned who I really am. God took me through the journey of self awareness.
To know one’s self is the all time attainable mystery of the masses that most will never learn or see. They are victims of the beast system.